The Transition

I have a lot of catching up to do with my blogging tonight. Since my last entry, the second quarter of the school year has ended, Wes now knows that he will be schooled at home for the rest of the year and we've celebrated our second Christmas here in Arizona. It's a time of transition and preparing for a different lifestyle.

We actually stopped attending school a couple days before the end of the quarter. Wes had unfinished work and wasn't getting it done in class. I was emailing the teacher and asking her to send it home. She was sending back notices that he would receive zeros for his incomplete work, but was not sending anything home. It seemed that some of the work dated back long enough that Wes really wasn't sure about what he was supposed to be doing. This was happening at the end of a quarter in which I had been specifically communicating about not letting Wes fall behind. I had requested that any day when he had trouble completing his work, that the work would come home and not accumulate. Finally I received an email saying that Wes had chosen not to attend the class party on the last day of school. In truth it was a negative consequence to not getting his work done. By this time the student/teacher and the parent/teacher relationships were in such a bad place, there seemed no point to continuing on.

When I first told Wes that I would homeschool him for the rest of the year, he didn't have a big reaction. I asked him if he knew what I meant by homeschool and he quickly replied that it was school at home. I told him he was right and that I would be his teacher. It would still be school and we would still have work to do, but I would teach him the way he learns best, by doing. I think it took a minute for the idea to sink in and become real. As it did, I saw his whole body take on a more relaxed posture and he began smiling and asking me questions. They are the questions you might expect. "So I really don't have to go back to school?" We walked upstairs to our office where I have been collecting materials and writing down ideas. I spread everything out on the floor and we sat in the middle of it. I even went through what the days of the week would be like and some of my creative ideas. Afterwards, I just kind of gave him space to absorb it all. If I had to choose one word to describe Wes's reaction, the word would be relieved.

I was more nervous about talking to Wes's older brother. I figured he would have mixed feelings. He took in the information is his usual mature and understanding way. He knows what a tough time his brother has been having. The other thing we really emphasized when talking with both boys is that this is temporary. Wes will be going back to school, but we are taking a little time out to work at home. The goal is to get him in a better place both emotionally and academically so he can go back with confidence.

The final event at the end of the quarter was a meeting between my husband and the school principal. Without going into detail, the meeting went very well and I know I'll have her support upon our return. She apologized for the experience that we've had and basically she and my husband had a very positive exchange in which many topics were covered. I stayed home with the kids for this meeting mostly because my lawyer husband tends to handle them very well and I'm afraid my closeness to the situation would make me more emotional. I think that when you show too much emotion, you sometimes loose some of your credibility. I'm not the kind of woman who will sit there balling into a box of tissues, but my face will color and my eyes will fill if I'm not careful. Besides, the great thing about marriage or having a life partner is that you don't have to do everything alone. Thank goodness!

One other thing I have to share is that a couple members of our family who were with us for Christmas learned of our news. The reaction was strong and even more negative than I was prepared for. There is such a stigma around homeschooling that you don't really expect people to do cartwheels for joy when you tell them, but when the response is filled with pointed criticism, it's painful. I've read passages by other homeschool parents about the judgmental reactions they receive and now I can empathize. The decision to homeschool is one that most of us struggle with and is usually combined with some difficult school experiences. It's emotional and daunting, but It's one you make purely with the love for your child and their well being at heart.

So I'm lifting my chin back up, and focusing on the future. I know I can't take on the role of teacher with a heavy heart. I want to leave all of the tough moments behind and get my head in a good and positive place. It no longer matters how we got here. I know that I can be a great teacher to my son and I am still convinced that he needs this time. From the very early days of parenting, I've had periods when I start to feel muddled. There are so many strong opinions about every stage of development. At times you feel pushed and pulled in so many directions. When it starts to overwhelm, I give myself a time out. I go for a walk or find some alone time. I go through the mental exercise of stripping these outside forces from my brain. When finally they are cleared away, the truth always seems to be just waiting there for me. By truth I mean that personal, parental instinct of what is right for you and yours. It's there. It's always there.

My Schedule Outline

There is a part of me that would enjoy expounding further my thoughts and feelings about school. I've had years to develop my personal theories about what is ailing in education today and ideas about possible cures. I'm sure I won't be able to resist the need to release some of this from time to time, but that is not what I want to focus on. I want to focus on my son, his education and his future.

I'm starting from the very beginning here. Wes still has a couple days left in this school quarter. He does not know yet that I plan to start teaching him at home next quarter. My husband and I plan to sit our two sons down and talk it over as a family. We have decided to wait until the end of this grading period to discuss it, not only with our kids, but with the school and Wes's teacher. We don't want this decision to color the rest of the time we are in school.

Meanwhile, I have been busy preparing myself. I have spent time researching on line and looking through bookstores. The bottom line is that there is a lot of information out there and you just have to sift through it and make choices. The great thing about it is that the choices you make are specifically with your child in mind. I'm going to share my selections with you, but please know that they are Wes specific and based on what I believe will work for us. I'm also keeping my mind open to change in case some of my initial ideas don't pan out.

One of the things I wanted was a good resource for knowing what is generally covered or recommended at the third grade level. I'm not looking for a ready made curriculum, I just want to be on top of what is taught in each subject. I like what Scholastic offers the best. It's very detailed and clearly presented. I like the idea of having this bookmarked just as a guide post reference.

The next thing I looked for was actual materials. On the web I liked looking through Amazon as much as any place else. One of the nice features Amazon offers is a look inside the books. It's the next best thing to actually flipping through them in person. As brick and mortar stores go, Barnes and Noble has a very well stocked education section. I wish I had gone there first to tell you the truth. You just can't beat the hands on and the ability to compare the materials that the different companies offer.

Looking through the workbooks in person had a profound impact on me. Sitting on the shelf under third grade math there were easily five choices. You pick up one and it looks very no frills problem solving. Another has a test prep feel to it. Right next to these you can find an option that covers the exact same material, but what? It has color, puzzles, pictures and characters. It has a personality. I take a moment to mourn the fact that if my school did something as simple as choose the book on the right instead of the one on the left, I might not be standing here.

I think my posts are tending to run a bit long, so I'm going to leave off here today, but I'll continue on with what books I have chosen and the schedule I have in mind. Whenever I feel passionately about something, I can go on and on.

My Philosophy

When I first decided that I would make this leap into homeschooling, I started searching on line. One of my concerns for Wes is that he not feel isolated. I thought it would be good to find a local group of like minded people with whom to connect. All I really want is a couple of families that we could meet at the park on occasion. This should be a simple enough task and there are groups in my area. I'm a little farther away from my local groups being in the SE Valley of Phoenix, but that's not what stopped me. As I was reading the profiles of the different homeschool groups, I just didn't feel like any were a good fit. I'm already leaving public school, I don't want to jump into another organization unless it seems just right.

So what is my philosophy? The truth is, I think it's still forming. I'm not choosing to teach Wes independently because of religeous beliefs. If I had to define myself in that regard I would use words like liberal and free thinker. I don't associate with one religion in particular because I like to maintain a broader view. I love history and science and culture and I think this vast world has much to offer an open mind. My reasons may be a little political since government funding and programs have played a major roll in the way schools operate and address the education of their students. After all, I have an older son who sits around bored while teachers review for the standardized test; time in which he could be learning. I have a younger son who is forced to display his understanding only in the format given by the same test despite the fact that is doesn't speak to his dominant learning style. So yes, I guess politics have played a part in my decision making. But what is my philosophy and how will I teach my son?

Right now I plan to give our learning time some structure. I think that the two of us will work better together that way. I will also be sure to cover the same material as the general third grade curriculum although not only that material and in our own way. I guess I really am a planner because I have developed a loose weekly outline for covering all of the subjects. I don't want to have a rigid structure. If we are in the middle of a science experiment and I get a cool follow up idea, I may abandon the rest of my plan for that day. I want to embrace the flexibility that comes with the territoy.

I think curriculum and daily planning are the most overwhelming decisions you make when starting out. I looked around for independent blogs like what I'm starting here with Indie Teach. I wanted to see what other parents were doing. I found many blogs that shared resources and general ideas, but I guess I was looking more for the daily ins and outs of teaching. It would be even more satisfying to find other parents who share a similar focus. I'm still looking, but for now, "If you can't find it, create it!" That may just be my new philosophy!

What is Indie Teach?

I'm not really expecting a following with this blog, but if you are here, you are welcome! I'm starting this new blog and I'm calling it Indie Teach because that is what I am about to do. Before I elaborate, I feel I should explain the sheep profile picture. The business I'm in is the world of fiber. I dye, spin, felt, weave, crochet and more. Wind Rose Fiber Studio is my creative home and I love my little sheep. Having said that, Indie Teach is not about fiber or sheep. This is a personal record that I have decided to keep. It's a journal in which I will share my experience teaching my son at home.

I have two sons actually, one is 11 and the other 8. I have been involved with their education from the start just like many good parents. I volunteer, chaperone, teach the parent led art program, manage the homework, participate in the parties and donate money and supplies. I'm sure this is sounding very familiar. It's also true that some years have been easier than others. There are the years when you make a wonderful connection to your teacher and feel that they really like and care about your child and then the years where that connection is not as present. Those years always feel longer and like more work. It's amazing how critical that student teacher relationship is and yet it's something that we have little to no control over. Always, we do our best to make the most of each year with the goal being a happily learning and progressing child.

With both of my sons there have been good years and more challenging ones, but it is my eight-year-old that I have decided to teach at home beginning after this holiday break. I promised myself that I would get personal with this blog because I know that I'm not alone, so my name is Jennifer. My friends call me Jenn and my son is Westen or Wes. The reason I have decided to teach Wes independently is because I really believe that it is the best way for him to learn while maintaining a love and curiosity for knowledge as well as his self esteem.

You see my older son has been more able to adapt to this testing/standards of learning world which education has become. He has very strong "listen and learn" skills which make him an ideal student for the way kids are taught today. Wes, however, learns more interactively. He is a child who has always absorbed information through all five of his senses. He learns by seeing, touching, smelling, tasting and listening; in that order. He is very creative and would rather spend his free time drawing than doing just about anything else. He processes information more internally and is very intuitive. Like many creative minds, he draws more motivation from the process than the end result.

Well now Wes has hit the third grade. More than ever the focus is on production and on testing. Every worksheet looks like a sample model of the standardized tests that the kids will be taking. Here they are called AIMS or Arizona's Instrument to Measure Standards. Listen and do. Read and fill in the blanks. This is how the 8 and 9 year olds are expected to spend their academic time. If you ask them what their favorite subject is, most of them respond with recess or PE or lunch. For kids like my Wes who learn more through seeing and experiencing, the joy is taken out of the learning process. Now it's just work.

I know this is a long introduction, so I'm going to try not to go on too much more. The fact is, for years now, I have been trying to make schools and specifically my son's classrooms something they are not. I have been pleading with teachers to embrace all of the learning styles and teach to the individual needs of every student. I believe that all of the kids would benefit from this shift in focus, not just my own. There have been some years, including this one, when I have felt pretty defeated.

I think because I have so desparately wanted schools to change for the better, I have thought of homeschooling as a last resort. I don't feel that way now. Now I think it is the best choice for Wes. At home he is the inquisitive and enthusiastic child he has always been, but as school he is starting to shut down. He daydreams and openly says that he doesn't like school. Every morning I feel sick to my stomach wondering what kind of day he will have. Attempts at communicating with his teacher have fallen flat. It's time.

I've gone through and I'm still going through an intense mental preparation. The more I prepare, the better I feel about teaching Wes at home. Once I embraced the concept, the ideas starting flowing. I'm actually getting very excited about it now. I'm looking forward to giving him what I have always wanted for him. We are going to learn and we are going to have fun doing it. Wes and I are both very creative and love many of the same things. Of course as mother and son we share a deep connection and bond, but as a visual and kinesthetic learner myself, I understand his needs on a very personal level.

So this is the beginning. This is my teacher's log. I'll be writing at least a couple times a week. For me writing is part of the way I process, but I decided to keep this blog as a way to share the experience. You'll get to read about what we are learning and how. If you teach at home or have ever thought about it, I hope this blog will feel like a support. I imagine that there are times when homeschooling can feel kind of lonely, but I know I'm not alone. You know, as long as this post is, in truth it's a very condensed version of my thoughts and feelings. Over time I'll be sharing more and more.